|Elmo gazes malevolently down from the rafters of|
Elmo watched the Jackets struggle through the end of 2008-09, dropping from a 6 seed to an 8 as they staggered through the rest of the season after clinching their only playoff birth. He watched the most amazing sporting event ever to occur in Nationwide Arena, the rollicking thunder of that playoff Game 4 where the CBJ finally shed the shackles of tentativeness, but too late. He presided over the shower of beer cans that saluted an untimely 'too many men' penalty in a year when the eventual Cup Champion Penguins were allowed to skate an entire shift with too many men. And thus, the first ripples of a virulent curse were vibrated through our collective consciousness.
Since that time this Elmo balloon has stared down at the high, but ultimately crushed hopes of four seasons. He has inspired December collapses in multiple, years, finally advancing his influence to October, and ultimately, to September of this year, when we didn't even get a chance to start the season. He has seen a franchise spiral from a playoff team, to a dead last finish in a short 4 years, which includes two coaching changes. And now, he has managed to even get the All Star Game cancelled from his lofty perch in the rafters. Yes folks, it is the curse of Elmo that is driving all of our hockey woes.
It is time, oh yes it is time, for the game ops folks to rise up, and unseat this icon of ill-luck and channel of negative karma. I don't care how many pellet gun shots, or lifts of scaffolding it takes to get him down, but before the puck drops again in Nationwide Arena, this evil force must be removed!!